Cozy Corner: Humor Archives

October 13, 2006

Easier than selling it...

AbbaGav links to this wonderful product: The Dashboard Mohammed bobblehead. Depending on where you are, it might be a quick way to get your insurance company to buy your car's remnants from you.

Posted by Andy at 05:15 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

September 20, 2006

What is it about mosque security?

As the former Archbishop of Canterbury lambasts the Muslim world, we see this tidbit:

Since the Pope quoted a Byzantine emperor as saying that the teachings of the Prophet Muhammad were “evil and inhuman”, a nun has been shot dead, a terrorist group linked to al-Qaeda has vowed to kill the Pope, churches in Palestinian areas have been attacked and security at churches and mosques in London and elsewhere has been stepped up.

You may remember the jihadi in Seattle prompting similar:

police officers throughout the city were being asked to step up patrols of synagogues and mosques.

I've finally figured it out. Muslims don't hate Christians and Jews - they're just too damned cheap to pay for their own security. So every few months, they kill one of us, and we provide them free security for a while. Such a deal!

Posted by Andy at 01:54 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

August 30, 2006

Profiling

If you haven't heard the wheelbarrow joke, let me share a variant with you:

A mill has a generous policy of allowing its workers to take home sawdust to heat their homes with. However, because the mill works in very fine woods, it has to watch out for theft of lumber. Every night, one of the workers stays late, and takes whatever sawdust no one else wants, puts it in a wheelbarrow, and heads home. Every night, one of the security guards stops him, and inspects the sawdust. Sure that the worker is up to something, he sifts through the sawdust looking for scraps of lumber; he checks the underside of the wheelbarrow; he searches the worker. Nothing.
This goes on for years; it becomes an evening ritual that the men share; almost a private joke. The worker never complains about the searches, the guard, convinced the man is a thief, but with no evidence, reports nothing.

In a pub one evening, the two men run into each other. Over a pint of Guinness, the retired guard asks the retired worker, "Look, be straight with me. I know you were up to something. Just let me know so I can rest easy. What were you doing?"

"Stealing wheelbarrows."

And therein lies the problem with looking for bad things, and not bad people. Had the guard even once raised a concern about the gentlemen, some accountant might have noticed the inordiante number of wheelbarrows the mill went through, and connect the dots. But because the guard was focused on a list of items that might be stolen, the thief got away with it.

There are lots of lessons in this one, but, at the heart, just remember: the bad guy is more clever than your system.

Posted by Andy at 10:19 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

August 25, 2006

A little interview

The Gaming Blog has an interview between the BBC and a Lebanese. Enjoy it, and Shabbat Shalom!

Posted by Andy at 05:15 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

August 21, 2006

A plot of land?

Hmmmm:

Israeli troops are collecting bodies of Hezbollah fighters killed in Lebanon and storing them in refrigerated containers in Israel, the army said on Wednesday.
...
Israel has special cemeteries for Palestinian and Lebanese militants killed in fighting with Israel.

Hmmm. 20,330 sq km. That's 20,330,000,000 square meters. Assuming a 2m x 1m plot, that's about 10 billion possible grave sites.

Now I get the whole martyr strategy. Retaking the land one grave at a time. (Thank goodness there are only 1.6 billion candidates worldwide).

Posted by Andy at 03:42 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)